I don't know whats wrong with me, I am just so blue all the time now. The money is gone, and we have nothing coming in. As of right now there is no really future for my family. I don't like this, I have always been a hard working person who put my children and my animals need before my own, and it all worked out. But now, there is no work, I can't find a job and I am scared. I'm scared that we wont have groceries next week, or diapers and the baby is really outgrowing his clothes. There is no money. We are going to have to start paying rent on our little house really soon, my husband job is over the end of the month, and he, as of right now is owed 3 weeks back pay. I'm stressed and tired, I need to get a job, NOW. I understand that my husband doesn't want me to work, but we both need to work and get out of this funk. If we both bust our asses for a few years we could get our own farm and things would be more stable.
Life used to be so simple. I would get up early and go to work, every Saturday I would get a paycheck and go to the grocery store. We used to make so much money, and now we regret not saving enough. How could I let this happen. I feel like a failure, I feel angry all the time, I lose my temper and get agitated really easily. I don't like being home, all I want to do is crawl under a rock and hide, I am sad. I feel like a bad mother and wife, I feel like I cant provide, and worst of all I feel ashamed that I feel this way, I am sad.
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