Knowing that to give up is to be defeated by oneself, continue single-mindedly to take small but significant steps in the shaping of your destiny.

I refuse to give up, I want so many things in life. I want to be a successful racehorse trainer, breeder and owner. I also want to have a happy well balanced home life, where we all work together and get along. I want my sons to grow up healthy and brilliant, with every door open to them. They should have the ability to be what ever they want to be, wither it is a doctor, lawyer or President. My eldest would do extremely well as either a lawyer or in politics, he loves to argue and talk. The baby, its hard to say, he personality is just starting to emerge. He is so loving and like his brother, loud. I see him going through college with ease and becoming a specialized surgeon. I bet all parents believe that their children will be very important people, and contributing members of society when they mature. But that is a goal that will require hard work from both the parents and children.

I wish my Mother would of pushed me a bit more to continue my education. I wish we would of had the money that would of made college a bit more realistic. I probably would of gone off to school if I could of lived in the dorms and not of had to worry about working and such, and only had to worry about my classes. Not that I am placing blame on anyone. Even though, I never really thought much about a professional future, only a future with horses. I realize now that having a career with horses, if you are not at the track, can be very difficult to support a family on. In my ventures as an adult, the only corner of the equine word that can and does pay the bills is the racing industry. And I know this well as I had my eldest at 21.

The racing industry is going through a tough time right now. With slots not yet active, the purses are low, which makes owners cut back on horses, which in turn makes trainers cut back on help. That is why I lost my job last year, though if I hadn't been pregnant, I might of at that time found other work. But now, no one is hiring help, I couldn't go back to work there if I wanted to. I do miss it greatly, the sunrises over the training track were breathtaking. The horses galloping out of the fog was just awesome.

I have a great business idea, but no capital to start it. Glass etching has really caught my fancy, its so pretty and unique, and I have discovered that it is not as difficult as it looks. I have checked around and not many people sell this at craft shows and fairs. I do believe that there is a hole in the glass market that would be greatly filled by my glass etching. I have already tried the chemical etching process and was really successful, now I would like to give the sandblasting method a try before I decide if I want to do both or pick one in which to master in. The only catch is that the sandblasting method is a bit pricey. If I could just get this business up and running I think that it will be very successful..