"Poverty makes you sad as well as wise.” Bertolt Brecht

Things are getting bad. Yesterday we went to a food bank, which was pretty embarrassing. But I guess we gotta do what we gotta do. My husband is working on getting food stamps, he has to go for an interview or something. Not quite sure what that is all about. I have been looking and looking for jobs. Nobody is hiring, and the only jobs I can find with a house are pretty far away. We have applied for about 3 , one place the house is too small and to the best of my knowledge the other 2 places haven't replied. I don't get it, people should be beating down our door for our services. But I guess the economy has got everyone a little loopy. There is this one job opening in Indiana that i would of loved to got. I had a big enough house and all the farm work I could do by myself. That what I really want, it to go back to work, to feel like I am my own person again. I wish someone at the track was hiring, I could go back there, yes the hours are long and yes its hard work, but the money is good. I just don't know what to do. Things here are not good, the old man is totally loosing it. He is believed to have Sundowners, granted I haven't seen him in quite a while, but when someone doesn't know what the day is or what happened yesterday, something is really wrong. Its a shame, this farm used to be gorgeous, the horses used to be fast, and the money used to come in. Now the barns and fences are falling down, as well as the trees. The horses are slow and over half are club footed now. His breeding practices of the last 10 years are sooo screwed up and the poor genetics are finally deforming the horses. Its a shame, its not the horses fault but yet, they are the ones that suffer. I don't know when why he started breeding this way, doesn't he realise that all his good horses where by good stallions, not these budget crap stallions that he has been picking for the last decade. I love breeding horses, but I don't just breed a mare to a stallion, I spend sometimes months deciding what stallion to breed to what mare to get the best possible runner. There is a science to it, there are dominate and recessive genes to consider. There are just so many variables in breeding, and so much risk.